Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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