your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
