She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
