I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
