are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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