I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
