dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
