i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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