i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i will never coherently bang her
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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