Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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