I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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