So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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