im about as happy as oj after his trial
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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