girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You were trust falling into bushes
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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