Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
