Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize