When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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