Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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