Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
There r osticjed everywhere
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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