I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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