Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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