We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
