we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
