she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
