My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
