a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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