Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My vagina is officially offended.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
