Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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