I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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