I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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