Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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