Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
