Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
