People with herpes should wear stickers.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
