I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
