I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
