So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
ugly people sure do ruin things
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Randomize