The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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