Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
