I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
