I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
