can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize