the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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