coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
