Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
