The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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