i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
