maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
