are you still at the devil's house?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
