I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
