you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
