wat bout pragnant strippers??
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
