my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I deserve this hangover.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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