He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
