Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize