it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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