don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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