Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
