also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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