I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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