I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
