She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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