Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
