if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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