i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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