i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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