Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
