I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
