A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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